Susan Auerbach

Susan Auerbach

Honoring loss and seeking its lessons

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How Suicide Loss Prepared Me for a Cancer Diagnosis

I was in a bookstore when I got the call on my cell. I knew it had to be bad news if the doctor was calling me herself after the breast biopsy. I stepped outside and sat down. I heard

Susan Auerbach January 5, 2017July 17, 2017 Uncategorized 2 Comments Read more

Thanking Those Who Died By Suicide

International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day falls on the Saturday before Thanksgiving and is marked by events in many cities, sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). While others rush around with the start of holiday shopping and

Susan Auerbach November 24, 2016July 17, 2017 Uncategorized 1 Comment Read more

Letting In Halloween

I let in Halloween this year. It just sort of happened. I found myself peeking with curiosity at outlandish yard decorations that I passed in my neighborhood instead of avoiding them like I’ve done the past few years ; I

Susan Auerbach November 6, 2016July 17, 2017 Uncategorized No Comments Read more

Forgiveness Update

The fourth Jewish Day of Atonement has just passed since Noah’s suicide. I still can’t fully embrace the work of forgiveness and repentance that I used to do in preparation for the holiday. After suicide, there’s no making amends with

Susan Auerbach October 21, 2016July 17, 2017 Uncategorized No Comments Read more

Calling Up the Dead

I’ve often pictured what happened to my son as not just a wave of pain that swamped his soul but a veritable tsunami. Like those who try to withstand actual tsunamis, we didn’t see the enormity and power of the

Susan Auerbach September 30, 2016July 17, 2017 Uncategorized No Comments Read more

Suicide Prevention Starts at Home: “The Talk”

It’s National Suicide Prevention Week, a cause I never noticed until three years ago, and I’m reminded that prevention starts at home. Parents know we need to have “the talk” (or talks) with our adolescent kids about sex and drugs—but

Susan Auerbach September 5, 2016July 17, 2017 Uncategorized 2 Comments Read more

Inside “History of a Suicide”

I’ve been reading History of a Suicide: My Sister’s Unfinished Life by poet and author Jill Bialosky (Atria Books, 2011). It’s a masterfully constructed memoir and psychological autopsy of the suicide of her 21-year-old sister, Kim, in 1990. Bialosky draws

Susan Auerbach August 31, 2016July 17, 2017 Uncategorized 1 Comment Read more

Remembering Noah @ 25

 (Noah on French houseboat, 2009) Memorials are often optimistically called celebrations of life. But how do you celebrate the life of a young person who took his life—who both suffered from and caused so much pain? My husband and I

Susan Auerbach June 29, 2016July 17, 2017 Uncategorized 1 Comment Read more

Post-its on a Portrait

Sometime in the third year after Noah’s suicide, a friend asked if I still talked to him and I said, regretfully, no — except sometimes at the ocean or in the shower. She suggested I write little notes to Noah

Susan Auerbach June 23, 2016July 17, 2017 Uncategorized No Comments Read more

The Other Suicide: An Appreciation of My Father

Last week was the 34th anniversary of my father’s suicide. He took his life when he was 54 and I was 26. I haven’t written much about that loss here, yet it was a formative experience that shaped much of

Susan Auerbach June 5, 2016July 17, 2017 Uncategorized No Comments Read more
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If you or someone you know are having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline in the U.S. 800-273-8255 (or text START to 741-741)
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